


Pornography's No Good For You

by thebasement_archivist



Category: The X-Files
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2001-04-15
Updated: 2001-04-15
Packaged: 2018-11-21 01:24:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,206
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11347047
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thebasement_archivist/pseuds/thebasement_archivist
Summary: Take a porno addicted Mulder and an innocent Krycek just standing there and looking pretty. Now put them together. This is what you get.





	Pornography's No Good For You

**Author's Note:**

> Note from alice ttlg, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Basement](http://fanlore.org/wiki/The_Basement), which moved to the AO3 to ensure the stories are always available and so that authors may have complete control of their own works. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in June 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Basement's collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/thebasement/profile).

 

Pornography's No Good For You by Czeri

AUTHOR: Czeri  
TITLE: Pornography's No Good For You  
PAIRING: M/K  
RATING: NC-17  
DISCLAIMER: The characters of Alex Krycek, Fox Mulder and Dana Scully belong to Chris Carter and FOX.  
SPOILERS: "Sleepless", "Duane Barry", "Ascension"  
SUMMARY: Take a porno addicted Mulder and an innocent Krycek just standing there and looking pretty. Now put them together. This is what you get.  
WARNING: Mulder presented as a sexist pig.  
THANKS: to Krysa for great beta.  
NOTE: Originally published in the "Leather And Armani" zine. Big thanks to Yvi for giving me green light with this story.  
FEEDBACK: Please contact me at: 

* * *

"Uhm, I've noticed you around.  
I find you very attractive.  
Uhm.  
Would you go to bed with me?"  
                    TOUCH & GO 

"Agent Mulder!"

I was transcribing a surveillance tape when I was interrupted, the voice saying my name washing over me like quicksilver, unceremoniously invading my numbed brain.

There is one thing that can be said about transcribing, and that's that it is probably the most horrible job an FBI agent can be forced to do, beating even surveillance in the unproductive boredom domain. As such, it was a perfect way for Skinner to punish me - he charged me with a task in which any creativity was out of the question but which still required my being focussed, effectively preventing me from going over the facts concerning the Grissom's case in my head. All I could do was indulge the usually active part of my brain by replaying the movie I'd seen the previous day. Which just happened to be a porn movie.

That was why, when I heard my name over the sounds on the tape I was transcribing, pronounced so huskily, even breathlessly, I thought that I had somehow started to mix reality with the poor excuse for a film I watched the day before, an illusion more than reinforced by the looks of the man standing before me. 

For a moment I just feasted my eyes on the statuesque body, clad in a suit outwardly provocative in its ugliness, and then looked up to encounter the most intensely green gaze I'd ever had the pleasure to observe, its expression a breathtaking combination of an overeager puppy and a bambi caught in the headlights.

"Yeah?" I answered noncommittally.

"It's your 302. Assisstant Director Skinner's just approved it." the green-eyed Adonis said, handing me the file.

Jesus, that voice. It was so... intimate, made for whispering in the dark, low and sensuous. It turned a simple conversation into an act that could only be compared to sex in its intensity.

I quickly turned my gaze to the document and concentrated on its contents, unwilling to let my thoughts go any further along that particular path. Besides, if we were really in a porn flick, he should be saying how much he admires my work and how hot it is in here right about now. Instead, I found someone else's name on the 302. 

"There's a mistake here. There's another agent assigned to the case." I pointed out, accepting the fact that sexual fantasies just don't come true all of a sudden with a resigned sigh. 

At that he leaned closer to look at the file and the delicate smell of his cologne reached my nostrils, the half woody, half musky fragrance stimulating the pleasure centers in my brain almost as much as his voice did.

// He's wearing "Armani"? With that suit?! Please!// I thought incredulously. Yet, I couldn't deny that it was somehow extremely sexy, the thought that he was better dressed without his clothes on...

"That would be me. Krycek, Alex Krycek." the man whom I had known for about a minute but who had already managed to become my favourite sexual fantasy introduced himself.

The only problem was that the last thing I needed at the moment was a new partner, since I had just gotten rid off the previous one and I still couldn't get over how dependent on her I'd grown. Besides, I was in the act of regaining the X-files, so I really didn't have the time or the energy to start yet another work relationship.

"Skinner didn't say anything about taking on a partner." I protested.

"It wasn't Skinner. Actually, I opened the file two hours before your request, so technically it's my case." Alex said, ignoring my subtle allusion.

// You did, huh? I bet you have an answer ready for everything, don't you Agent Krycek? I wonder what you'd say if I told you I wanted to fuck you so bad my cock actually ached?// Damn, the lust I felt for him wasn't making the task of losing him any easier.

On the other hand, it wasn't as if I had to ditch him right away. I could always use him to deal with the police, which wasn't exactly my favourite part of an assignment, and then dump him.

"And you already talked to the police?" I asked hopefully.

"Yeah. Just hung up on the officer in charge a few minutes ago." he answered, totally oblivious to the role of dogsbody he was playing. You gotta love the naivete.

I listened carefully to the information he had gathered and, when he had finished, I cruelly took away any hope of our partnership he might have had: "Listen, I appreciate the show and tell, and I don't want you to take it personally, but I work alone. I'll straighten things out with Skinner."

I was on my way to the AD's office when I heard his determined: "It's my case, Agent Mulder."

So, he apparently wasn't as naive as I had at first thought. Or maybe he was simply well aware of the bureaucracy that was running this place. Yeah, he looked like the kind of guy that was doing everything according to procedure. 

I turned around and faced him, wondering how to overcome this particular problem.

"Look, I may be green, but I had the case first. I'm not gonna give it away so quickly." Alex fixed me with what must have been the most innocent, wide-eyed look available to a human being; his beautiful, long-lashed eyes becoming so huge they practically swallowed the rest of his face.

I blinked, suddenly remembering that somewhere at the bottom of my closet, where I kept my infamous video collection, there lay a movie called "Partners In Crime"; about how a fresh-from-the-academy policeman was being introduced to the basic rules of the real life by an older, more experienced officer, in a rather unconventional way, I should add. The movie contained some of the most mesmerising scenes I had ever seen and, strangely enough, I started to really feel like watching it again. What's more, the idea of having a partner somehow stopped being that unfortunate.

"Alright." I agreed finally. Then I sent him down to get a car for us, inwardly kicking myself for the ease with which Alex won me over, a tell-tale sign I was losing it.

No amount of self-loathing, however, could deter me from automatically gluing my eyes to the area below Krycek's waist the moment he turned around.

// My, my. Does he have a cute butt or what?// I thought to myself, smiling with appreciation at the nice roundness even that godforsaken suit couldn't hide. // He certainly comes from a conservative family. I bet he's even a conservative himself. Yeah, definitely, a conservative with a gorgeous ass. They are the hottest little sluts imaginable. He probably spent most of his time at college on his knees, sucking every cock he could get hold of. Little whore was crawling under the table every time his father organised a meeting of his fellow Republicans and sucking off everyone in turn...//

My cock hardened drastically as the fantasy, fed by the movie I'd seen the day before, started to develop in my head. 

I knew of course that the last thing I should be doing was dream about another agent, especially while at work, but I didn't seem to be able to stop. Hell, I never was particularly good at obeying rules, be it official or my own inner ones, so why should this time be any different? I just promised myself to halt before embarrassing myself, and let my imagination run wild.

// Once he got caught, when he couldn't help moaning with ecstasy as some congressman came all over his face. His father pulled him from under the table by his hair and threw a tantrum at the sight of his son with his cocksucking mouth all red and swollen, and with cum dripping down his chin. He was so mad he actually spanked Alex, hard, on his naked butt.//

The image of the cute agent spread over his father's knee, his round, upturned ass bouncing with every resounding smack, instantly invaded my mind. I could hear him moaning and begging most insincerely, see him writhe and rub his rock-hard cock against the wool of his father's elegant trousers.

// Then, when Alex's buttocks were already bright red, his father would tell him to lift his ass higher and spread his cheeks, so that he could slap their inner sides as well. From time to time, he'd spank his son directly on the pink asshole, now totally exposed. 

// That'd make Alex scream really loud, cry and apologise, until he'd finally go all rigid and mewl hotly in the throes of an exceptionally intense orgasm...//

A sudden wave of tingling heat surged violently through my body, giving me an impossible to ignore warning that I was hanging on the edge myself, and, since coming in front of just about everyone was exactly what I promised myself to avoid when I started this little fantasy, I hurriedly banished the alluring image of my new partner's tight ass from my mind, willing my erection to subside.

Luckily, the farther Krycek went, the less impact he had on me and, consequently, the more control over my body I gained. Soon some blood found its way back to my grey-cells and I could again concentrate on how unacceptable the whole situation was.

// I can't work with someone straight from the Academy! I was never good at babysitting!// I thought rebelliously. Not to mention that I really couldn't afford to have my brain automatically turn into jello whenever my partner was in a room with me.

By the time Alex reached the motor pool I was already planning how to ditch him, eventually deciding to simply sneak out of the building through the back door and take a cab to the Grissom Sleep Disorder Center.

As expected, the case soon engrossed me so completely that I forgot Agent Krycek altogether, at least until the time he materialised in front of me with the cutest pissed-off look on his face. 

Of course he had to say something about dates and it was all I could do not to replay the plot of another one of my favourite movies, "The Not So Bad Date", in my mind, imagining me and Alex in place of the actors. He, for one thing, would certainly be perfect for the role of a sex-crazed teenager deviously seducing his sister's ditched date.

Hell, it was becoming more and more difficult to keep track of reality when he was around. 

Trying to cut his reproach short, I carefully chose my attitude to be as patronising as possible, immensely enjoying the image of an angry Alex with those remarkable eyes narrowed a little and the most adorable crease above his nose.

Krycek, on the other hand, visibly resented the position I was putting him in and was desperate to change the rules of our little game.

Without a warning, he suddenly aimed for my emotional side: "You know, back in the Academy some of the guys used to make fun of you."

Oh no, it wasn't going to work. I was way too comfortable with my annoying-son-of-a-bitch persona to lose it because of such a cheap shot.

"Oh stop, or you're gonna hurt my feelings." I said with a smile full of superiority.

Alex, however, didn't let himself get sidetracked: "But some of us followed your work, believed what you were doing, because we knew that there was more up there than they were telling us." he continued with feeling.

That was just too rich. Now he really *was* saying he admired my work. How on Earth was I supposed not to fantasize about that man if all he did and said was taken straight from one porno flick or another? His every word, every gesture reminded me of some hot movie I'd once seen, causing my damn photographic memory to recall the indecent scenes and practically shove them down my throat, until I almost choked to death, feeling for all the world like a dirty old man. For the first time in my life I started to suspect that maybe watching adult films wasn't such a healthy hobby as I had believed at first.

Krycek's eagerness and desperation to please weren't helping my frustration at all. He was trying so hard to be a good partner, probably thinking I was still pining for Scully and that was why I was trying to lose him every chance I got, which, by the way, wasn't that far from the truth.

The fact was, I did miss Dana, and I was comparing him to her, except that the aspects on which I mostly concentrated were very likely to stun him if he somehow gained access to my thoughts.

The thing on which I particularly elaborated, for example, was how come his conservative demeanour was driving me insane with lust while hers I usually found slightly annoying? She was hot as hell, I admit that, but somehow it was in him that I wanted to discover and set free an uninhibited slut, not in her. Why? I honestly didn't know.

After all, Scully had the advantage of being a woman, which fact let me introduce all kinds of interesting gadgets into my fantasies about her, gadgets that couldn't really be used in connection with Alex. 

Let's take stockings for example, together with a sexy garter belt. On Scully they would look extremely hot but Alex... I winced at the thought. I guess I never was into men wearing women's lingerie. 

Another classic would be lipstick, fiery red lipstick smeared on Scully's face and around the base of my cock... Yet I somehow found Alex's lips even more appealing. Without any sort of artificial coloration they still fascinated me more than Scully's ever did. So full and smooth, they seemed to beg to be licked, taunting me with their satin-like texture, and causing me to torture myself with dreams of how wonderful it'd be to simply run my tongue along them.

Oh, did I mention I have a severe case of oral fixation? No? Well, I do, together with a whole lot of other obsessions - most of which Alex was one way or another using against me.

He had the unnerving habit to sit on my desk while I was working, for example, plainly teasing me, because he couldn't be so dense as not to realise how erotic it was. After all, every man fantasizes about having sex at work, he must have known that. So whenever he sat in front of me, lounging casually on the desk-top, I dreamed about throwing the damn cock-tease on his stomach, tearing his clothes off and rimming him until he started to sob and beg me to fuck him.

I could see every detail: the way he'd protest at first, only to start moaning wantonly, like a cat in heat, when he'd feel my mouth at his body's entrance; the way he'd begin to shake as I stroked and massaged his pleasure centre with the tip of my tongue; even the way I'd be able to feel every tremor generate deep in him to rock his whole body and wash him with heat. I could almost hear his whimpers and pleas, feel his muscles spasm around my tongue as his pleasure escalated. 

My God, to hear him beg for my cock and stubbornly keep refusing to give it to him became one of the top-ten things I wanted to achieve in life. Just imagining the way I'd cruelly deny release from him and keep him on the brink until I reduced him to mindless chanting of: "fuckmepleasepleasefuckme" gave me a breathtaking sense of power, not to mention a stone-hard erection.

In my fantasies I never gave in, always making him come with just my fingers, despite the dull throb in my own cock. 

I could picture it perfectly: licking the stretched skin around his anus while stimulating his prostate with my knuckles, until the soft channel finally tightened around my fingers, like a velvet fist suddenly clenching. I'd hear Alex cry out in ecstasy and see his cum spill all over the desk-top, at the same time feeling the soft inner walls flutter against my hand. 

// Only then would I tell him to turn around and lie on his back, first making him lube himself thoroughly with his own semen, right before my eyes. 

// Slut that he was, he'd probably make quite a show of it, desperate to experience every little bit of lingering pleasure he might get. 

// When he'd finally change positions, shamelessly spreading his thighs to make sure I'd get the idea he was mine for the taking, I'd be too turned-on to keep myself from brutally thrusting into that hot, silky ass all at once. I'd fuck him so hard that he'd soon climax again, as relaxed and sensitive as he'd be after the first orgasm. 

// The sight of Alex twisting under me, his long lashes resting on the flushed cheeks as he was trying to conceal his breathless moans, would finally push me over the edge as well, making me explode deep in that delectable body, leaving my trace in the very core of his being.//

Or maybe I was wrong. Maybe he wasn't a slut but a virgin. Yeah, a virgin nimphomaniac, still sweet and innocent, totally clueless as to why his body was becoming so alien to him, tingling in the strangest places whenever he encountered an attractive man, because so far he'd only been with a couple of girls and they never had such a dizzying effect on him. He was waking up from his wet dreams with a distant yearning and guilty blush, not sure what exactly he'd been dreaming about, but certain that it was something sinful. He was like a ripe peach, waiting for someone to pick him and sink their teeth in the sweet, moist interior...

Great, now fantasizing about him was not only giving me blue balls, but also a sudden appetite for peaches. On the other hand, it was one hunger I was actually able to satisfy, not to mention that it was a great excuse for me to get away from my way-too-sexy-for-his-own -good partner and ease the throbbing ache in my crotch.

I looked at Alex, who was presently dying of boredom in the passenger seat of my car, since we were in the act of surveilling the house of a suspect in someone else's case, and asked him casually: "Do you like peaches?"

Krycek started, obviously interrupted in the most crucial moment of falling asleep, and eyed me suspiciously, trying to estimate what possible unpleasant consequences answering me might have (what can I say, I wasn't exactly making his life easy).

"Yeah." he finally admitted.

"OK, then I'll go and get some." I announced cheerfully and instantly took off, not giving him a chance to stop me.

I was wearing a leather chastity belt, which hid my persistent erection perfectly but had the unfortunate disadvantage of preventing me from getting a quick relief during one of the few moments of my stolen privacy (Krycek wasn't making my life easy either). The only way I could reach satisfaction was after taking the whole thing off, and for that I needed quite some time, so the unexpected excuse for getting out of his sight without any limited time span was basically the fulfillment of all my wishes at the moment.

As soon as the car with Alex staring after me in disbelief vanished behind a corner, I started to look for a convenient hide-out, my task made easy by the fact we weren't exactly in the best part of the city and the neighbourhood was virtually overflowing with run-down buildings.

After a careful inspection, I picked what seemed like an ex-store, some three blocks away from my abandoned partner, and entered it somewhat unlawfully to at last get rid of the damn belt and touch my painfully swollen cock.

The first climax took me by surprise, coming almost instantly in three joyless spasms, the unquestionable proof I was more needy than it was healthy for anyone to be.

I waited a few moments till my heartbeat returned to its almost normal pace, and then concentrated on getting some pleasure out of the deal.

I started to stroke my cock in long, slow movements, narcissistically enjoying the touch of the satin skin covering my engorged shaft, and indulged myself in my newest fantasy of Alex the sweet nymphomaniac.

// Once introduced to the pleasures I could give him, he'd never have enough, always rubbing himself against me, or looking at me with longing. Or better yet, he'd try to deny his desire, which would make his inevitable submission all the sweeter.

// On a stakeout, like the one we were doing now, he'd tell me with determination that he didn't wish us to ever discuss what had happened, because, after due consideration, he realised he wasn't interested in men after all.

// I'd only smile in response and start to nibble on his sensitive earlobe, making his words of protest turn into long moans, then sobbing pleas as I'd move my mouth to that place on the side of his neck that really liked to be kissed. 

// I'd continue to worry his sweet spot until his skin turned pink and he began to pant, only then reaching to fondle his already nicely tented slacks.

// All the time I'd keep whispering deviously into his ear that he looked quite interested to me. 

// Alex would just sigh and put his head on my shoulder, confirming his defeat. 

// As a reward, I'd unzip his fly and start to stroke his velvety cock without anything in the way, which would make him toss his head in sweet ecstasy and thrust his hips wantonly against my hand. 

// At that I'd ask him if he liked what I was doing to him, and tell him that, if he did, he was a shameless slut, his denial notwithstanding.

// That'd earn me a series of sobbing moans and violent jerks of his throbbing cock.

// When he'd be really close, I'd stop moving my hand, making him rub himself against me if he wanted to finish, which of course he would.

// At first he'd freeze, then start to beg in the most erotic way, looking at me pleadingly and admitting how much he needed me. Eventually, as I'd remain unmoved, he'd start to push his hips up, blindly seeking the desired friction and making the most delightful mewling sounds once he'd found it.

// Then, right before the climax, he'd cling to me like a drowning man, arching off the seat and crying out in the unbearably intense pleasure that only I could give him.

// God, yeah, he'd be my sex slave.//

My hand was working furiously on my cock, but it was becoming more and more obvious that I needed something else to bring myself off so soon after the previous orgasm.

// Alex as my slave, hmm, that'd be good, just like in "The Harem Fantasies Part 2", the cushions scene.

// The scarce light of torches would make him look like a golden statue, laid out on the thousands of cushions filling up the playroom in my palace. He'd wear only a leather collar connected to the leash I'd be holding, and a gold chain around his right ankle - another sign of my ownership.

// When I'd decide to take pleasure of his magnificent body, I'd simply tug at the leash, telling him to crawl to me on his hands and knees, like a green-eyed panther, half-wild and often disobedient to his master. 

// Oh, he'd love to play a jungle cat, the boneless feline grace coming to him naturally as he'd lazily move in my direction.

// Never taking my eyes off that sensual body, I'd reach under one of the cushions to retrieve a short whip with a number of thongs on its end. With my other hand I'd keep wrapping the leash around my palm, making it shorter and shorter the closer he came.

// The sight of the whip would make Alex lower his head in mock-submission while he'd ask me what he had done to deserve my anger.

// I'd instantly move behind him and sharply slap his ass, telling him it wasn't his right to question my moods and that he only seemed to remember his place when his butt was stinging.

// He'd answer humbly: "Yes master." but I would still sense an unspoken challenge in his voice, a challenge to assure his good behaviour for the next couple of days.

// Never one to refuse a dare, I'd start to whip him in earnest, enjoying the low moans he emitted every time the leather thongs fell on his skin.

// Oh, he'd love that too, being disciplined by his master. He'd sigh with contentment and rotate his hips, insuring my blows to fall wherever he wanted them to fall, his cock getting harder and harder the deeper shade of red his backside turned.

// Ever so often I'd make short breaks to caress his tender butt, enjoying the warmth radiating from the flushed skin and the way he'd writhe to encourage my touch. I'd let my hands roam freely, sneaking between his thighs to stroke the heavy cock, pet his balls and massage the sensitive muscle at his body's opening. 

// Soon Alex'd pant in excitement, not sure whether he wanted the exqusite spanking to continue, or whether he just craved for me to fuck him already.

// I'd solve the dilemma for him, too impatient to wait any longer before burying my tingling erection deep in his ass.

// That first hard thrust would make him arch his body and practically howl with joy. He'd really love the harsh mindless rutting and he'd go to great lengths to make sure I'd give him exactly what he wanted, sneaky bitch. And my only weapon against him was the punishment he enjoyed far too much.

// Shaking off the distractive feeling of his tight ass clenching around my cock, I'd continue to slap his red-hot buttocks with my right hand, hoping that at least once I'd give him more than he could take.

// Alex would soon lose it completely, clawing at the cushions and screaming louder and louder as his inner muscles spasmed violently around my cock every time I slid home. 

// My own body would start to feel as if it was on fire, the throbbing flames creeping from the area of my lower belly to my navel, then to my chest and downwards to my thighs, until I was too weak to keep my balance and had to lean on the shuddering body underneath me.

// Hopefully Alex would be even closer to the edge, because there'd be no way for me to last much longer. All I'd be able to do was concentrate on the fine drops of sweat gathering in the hollow of his spine and wait for the inevitable moment to arrive.

// At last Alex'd give in to the ecstasy and stiffen under me, giving me the sign I was expecting. I'd instantly jerk sharply at the leash, temporarily closing his air supply, like I knew he liked me to do, and then I'd just let myself go, melting in the achingly sweet heat that was spreading unforgivingly from behind my balls, along the spinal cord to every single nerve in my whole body, until I turned into one quivering mass of sensation, screaming my way through the most intense orgasm I had in years...//

Fuck, my throat ached. 

And my knees seemed to have given in somewhere along the way, because I was now kneeling on the dirty floor, the weight of my body resting for the most part on the wall against which I was leaning.

Trying in vain to catch my breath, I reached with my left hand into my right coat pocket to find the pack of paper tissues I knew I had, and took them out to somewhat clear the mess my groin and right hand were currently presenting.

It was only after I got rid of the last traces of stickiness from my fingers, that I finally gathered enough strength to stand up and start looking for my pants and the chastity belt, which I knew was a necessity if I had to spend the next five hours with Krycek in the same car.

"Or rather the next four hours and fifteen minutes." I corrected myself after consulting my watch, what meant that I left Alex on his own 45 minutes ago and counting.

And I had yet to find the goddamn peaches.

Shuffling desperately through my mind in search of the location of the nearest grocery store that might still be open at 1 in the morning, I completed the act of getting dressed and left my hide-out.

After a 10-minute jog I found a rather seedy store I remembered we passed on our way to the suspect's house and, miracle of miracles, they did have some peaches there, although most of them seemed a bit too fuzzy.

I chose four heavy, over-ripe fruits, carefully checking each one for even the slightest trace of being rotten, and jogged back to my partner, wondering whether sweet Alex would even be there.

Luckily, Krycek was much more forgiving than I'd be and, ever the good little agent, he was staying put exactly where I'd left him, bravely fighting drowsiness.

Noting with satisfaction that the driver's seat was still unoccupied I slipped into the car, slamming the door hard enough to chase all traces of sleep away from my younger partner.

My unexpected comeback seemed to stun Krycek even more than the sudden take-off and for a moment he just stared at me in silence, trying to gather his wits enough to decide which insult to hurl at me at first. Before he managed to enter the full rant-mode, however, I proudly presented the peaches, explaining how difficult it was to get them in that district at that hour.

My detailed description of all the dangers I'd had to undergo in order to gratify his whim made Alex feel at a loss again. He sat with his head lowered, nervously rolling the offered fruit in his hands, until he finally interrupted my by the minute more and more fantastic story with a hesitant question: "You mean, you didn't go to investigate on your own what the suspect was up to?"

Now it was my turn to feel stunned. Was it really what he had presumed? That I went to spy on the no one living in the tenement-house we were suppossed to be observing? Hell, it obviously was, if the unguarded look of honest disappointment in Krycek's huge eyes was any indication.

I loved that hero-worship thing!

Smiling at Alex ambiguously, I said: "Of course not! How can you even accuse me of breaking procedure like that?! All I did was go and buy some *peaches* for my apparently pregnant partner."

Alex glared at me for the "pregnant partner" remark but soon his eyes filled with light again at my insolent confirmation of his assumption, and he generously let the subject drop.

It took him another two minutes to become aware of what he was holding and connect that realisation with the fact neither of us had the time to eat anything since lunch, which in turn resulted in the hottest show I had ever seen in my life: he started to shamelessly eat the peach right before my very eyes.

Oh Christ, I'd never been so grateful for the existence of male chastity belts than while I was watching those full, pink lips surround part of the fruit; white, perfect teeth sink into the soft flesh to peel away the velvety skin; and the agile tongue sneak out to follow the stray drops of juice running enticingly down the smooth chin.

Completely unable to stop the needy moans threatening to burst out of my throat any second, I hurriedly stuffed one of the peaches into my mouth, using it as a makeshift gag. My cock, comfortably spent mere moments ago, was now throbbing painfully against its leather confines, straining to get between the wet, swollen lips of my whore of a partner.

Yes, he was a whore. Now I had the ultimate proof - no one could make eating a peach look that hot without being professionally prepared to do so.

And if he was a whore, that meant he was sent to seduce me, a task in which he more than succeeded. 

My fierce inner battle with the temptation to loudly admit he'd won and let him perform his duties on my willing body was still unsolved, when Krycek finished picking on the fruit's core and proceeded to slowly lick his dripping fingers, looking at me from under the thick curtain of his incredible eyelashes.

That was the last straw. All my determination never to yield to my enemies in anything deserted me in a heartbeat at the sight of that sinful tongue lapping with long, leisurous strokes at the elegant digits. My whole perspective narrowed down drastically until all I felt was the overwhelming need to get that dark head between my thighs.

"You win." I moaned through the juicy pulp filling my mouth.

"What?" Alex leaned closer, pretending he didn't hear me.

I speedily swallowed the mushed fruit, depriving him of the excuse I was being unintelligible, and repeated: "I said: you win."

"I do?" He was obviously determined to play dumb.

"Yes, you do." I confirmed, starting to get angry. "Stop gloating and suck my cock already or I'll explode."

"What?!" Alex stubbornly insisted on keeping his cover.

"Oh for Christ's sake, Krycek, stop acting like an innocent virgin! I *know* you were sent to seduce me and I'm telling you you've succeeded, so you can skip the comedy and start doing what you were meant to do!"

Alex stared at me with wide eyes for a long moment, until he finally stated carefully: "You're not thinking straight, Agent Mulder. I think you might want to go home and get some sleep. I don't mind finishing the surveillance on my own."

That was it, I was absolutely fed up with his stupid game. What did he expect me to do, beg him?! Wasn't it enough I was willing to temporarily diverge from my ideals for the sake of fucking him?!

Made violent by the sudden anger, I pushed his head down on my lap, hoping that it would eventually make him get the idea of what it was I expected him to do.

He started to struggle with me then, but the position he was in put him at a great disadvantage, so that I was able to not only keep his head right where I wanted it, but I also managed to unzip my fly, only then remembering about the fucking harness still encasing my engorged cock. There was absolutely no way for me to get rid of it while seated in the car, and, judging by the distressed sound Krycek made at the sight of my eccentric underwear, he'd flee the second my grip on his neck loosened, which could not be prevented if I even tried to get out.

Saved by a chastity belt - how fucking appropriate.

I was still fuming inside at the unexpected obstacle, when all of a sudden it dawned on me that what I was doing was quickly becoming more and more similar to rape rather than consensual intercourse, especially since Alex's struggles, instead of ceasing, were getting more and more desperate.

Jesus Christ, could I really be that wrong?! What the fuck was I thinking?!

I instantly let Krycek go, trying to quickly make up some way out of the situation. My only chance was to convince Alex it was all a sick joke but it wasn't a particularly easy task, especially since I found it extremely difficult to make my panicked partner even listen to me.

Eventually, however, after using a skillful combination of arguments, such as the usual boredom connected with surveillance, or the well-known fact that rookies were always endangered to become subjects of senior agents' jokes, I seemingly did manage to make Krycek relax. In my desperation I even referred to my fame of being "spooky", which finally caused Alex to laugh nervously and make me swear never to exercise my sick sense of humour anywhere near him.

Yet I knew that the battle was far from being won, if the fact that for the rest of our shift and the whole drive to his place Krycek was still subconsciously clinging to the passenger door, thus keeping the biggest possible distance between us, was anything to judge by.

I spent the remainder of the night tossing and turning, trying to evaluate my chances and then worrying myself sick with the results.

The truth was, it would take a miracle for me to keep my job at the Bureau after sexually assaulting my male partner. 

If Krycek was a mole, I was toast, having given him the perfect opportunity to neutralise me. 

And even if he really was just a green agent assigned to me by accident, the odds my behaviour freaked him out so completely he'd decide to report me just to make sure we'd never be partnered again, were still pretty high.

The only bit of lingering hope I had was the fact that Krycek's hero-worship centred around me seemed rather genuine, which might convince him to overlook the disastrous incident and let me continue the work he so admired. Still, it was rather more depressing than reassuring to realise how feeble my chances were.

The next day I was so afraid of the note from Skinner most probably waiting for me on my desk that I didn't even dare to enter my office, deciding instead to visit the Bureau's swimming-pool.

I only had the time to swim four lengths, however, before I heard the dreaded: "Agent Mulder!"

Mindful of the explanation of my behaviour I had offered the night before, I concealed my nervousness as well as I could and answered neutrally: "Krycek! What's up?"

"There's a situation going down. They want you up there right away." Alex offered cryptically, causing my stomach to suddenly clench.

Feeling every bit as if I was a man condemned, already seated on the electric chair but still desperately clinging to the hope the phone *would* ring before the lever was pulled, I asked: "What kind of situation?"

At that Krycek locked his eyes with mine, letting me know he was perfectly aware of how important his decision was, instantly reminding me about the previous time we were in a similar situation, although it wasn't half as bad then.

How did he say that on the railway station? "We both know I'm covering for you by keeping this between us?" Well, I'd do anything just to hear those exact words now. That was what I was begging him for mentally, to keep the incident between us and in return I'd be the best partner he could ever dream of. The best partner in the whole fucking world, if he'd only give me the chance!

Alex must have been somehow reading my thoughts, because right after I made that solemn promise, he gave me my life back with just two words: "Hostage negotiation."

Giddy with relief, I couldn't help smiling as I asked the first question that came to my mind, needing another confirmation of my miraculous rescue: "And they want me?"

"Yeah." Krycek admitted, apparently as reluctant to actually discuss the real reason of my surprise as I was. Then he filled me in on the case's particulars and went to get his car ready while I was changing.

When we arrived at the scene, a travel agency where one Duane Barry was keeping 4 hostages, I was quickly drawn in by the novelty of the situation, since my only experience with hostage negotiation came from a course at Quantico I attended 7 years earlier. 

Besides, I was desperate to take my mind away from the little crisis I had been agonising over for the last 16 hours, so I jumped at the case with all the fierceness of my UFO obsession, hoping it would occupy me strongly enough I'd be able to forget the gorgeous, green-eyed end of my career.

I guess it was a classic example of not watching what I was wishing for, but I somehow couldn't find it in me to appreciate the irony then.

Scully's screams on my answering machine, the frantic drive to the Skyland Mountain, my sky-high acrobatics on the way to the peak, Duane Barry's death, they all seemed to be mocking me in my guilt-ridden state.

Worst of all was the fact that I didn't even let myself listen to the first budding suspicions that Alex Krycek wasn't in fact what he appeared to be, because of the stunt I'd pulled during the stakeout, and the sight of the Morley butts in his car came to me as a total surprise, breaking me down completely.

For the next couple of hours after the discovery I was behaving like a complete lunatic, driving to a hardware store to buy the biggest hammer they had in stock, which I later used to methodically smash all the porno tapes I had collected thoughout the years.

When the attack passed, I found myself sitting on the floor in the middle of my living room with the hammer still in my hand, and shattered pieces of plastic scattered all around me.

Surprisingly enough, the act of violence did manage to help me deal with the situation, enabling me to function almost normally, so that when I faced Skinner the next day with my skimpy evidence and huge assumptions, I again was more or less coherent.

And after I got Scully back, I took up watching adult films again, although they're strictly het movies now.

And they never feature green-eyed actors.

  
"Why doesn't anyone stop me? It's not my fault. They should stop me."  
                                          STUART ALAN JONES  
"Out of a cloud of dust, Krycek will walk."  
                                          DEAN HAGLUND  
"Oh, you're Nick Lea. I've heard you'll do anything."  
                                          JOHN NEVILLE

  
Archived: 18:52 03/15/01 


End file.
